Tuesday, October 28, 2008

get it RIGHT NOW


GET IT GET IT GET IT GET IT!!!! It dropped in stores today, I bought it first thing this morning :) It's especially nice for all you love birds out there - he's got some super heartfelt tracks to warm you heart and soul.

Friday, September 19, 2008

happy happy friday y'all!

It's gonna take an act of God for me to get any work done before lunch on fridays, just an FYI.



below I've posted a 2-step instructional guide on how to efficiently go apeshit while at work. enjoy!


Thursday, September 18, 2008

How did I get peanut butter IN MY EAR???

please answer that for me. because I just scratched my ear, and peanut butter from my bagel this morning was lodged right above my earlobe. also, yesterday I went to pull my hair back, and wiped oatmeal from breakfast off my NECK. what the crap is going on here?


I really don't like Third Eye Blind, except for this one song called "10 Days Late" I think the title is pretty self-explanatory, but it took me about 3 years to realize the song was about a guy who's girlfriend is 10 days late on her period and now they're havin a bebe.


question about facebook etiquette: when is ok to friend someone that you only SORTA know? like, you say hi and stuff at work, but that's about it. speaking of facebook, can anyone remember what the days before facebook were like? how did I spend (waste) all of my time???


I don't think I'm going to make it through the day, what with all the misplaced food and facebook quandries. someone please come rescue me...
since I am feeling so weird and foggy today, here is a picture of me and ashley cuttin a rug :)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

"That looks like an autopsy"

My mother (as mentioned before, pinnacle of good parenting that she is) just sent me a text message, and all it said was: "I'm sure he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it"


now, this is probably the most awesome text I have ever gotten, and my reasons are three-fold.

1. it is a line from the most true to southern form movie ever created, and also a favorite of mine

2. my mother sent it to me.

3. I really am that white trash.


Thursday: day officially made.


Also, I just made the grave error in telling my boss that a friend of mine is introducing me to the colorful and whimsical world that is the Carolina Renaissance Festival. I have been instructed to rent a "bar wench" costume and assemble a scrapbook from said faire (yes I spelled that shit with an E, motherfuckers). I'm not allowed to come back to work until the scrapbook is finished.


crap.



this guy likes to party.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I need...

someone to paint pretty canvases for me to hang on the walls at my house. I want flowers and swirleys and stuff. but none of that cutesy pink and green bullshit. also, I think these (seen below) would look lovely lining the front walkway. do hydrangeas grow in the fall? hrmmm...






One of my coworkers brought in some banana nut bread this morning that his wife made. It was so yum. It went perfect with my hazelnut coffee :)




listening to: "life is wonderful" by jason mraz

Friday, August 29, 2008

I want this!


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA :)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Am I the only one?

The restroom at work is typically crowded right before, during, and right after lunch time. So when I walked in around 1:00 today, I was pretty suprised to find it stark empty. I love it when there is no one in the restroom when I walk in, primarily because after listening to other people's conversations and dealing with crazy emails and phone calls during the day, it's nice to have a few seconds of just utter silence. So I walk in, close the stall door behind me, and am enjoying the already shortlived solitude, when all of a sudden, someone else walks in and uses the stall RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Now, there are like 8 stalls in the bathroom, and I chose one off to the side to do my business. Listening to other people pee is not my favorite thing to do, much less when it's less than a foot away when other stalls are available. I'm a big personal-space kinda gal, and stuff like that just really irritates me. Why would that person even wanna be close to me while I'm going potty? Please tell me this isn't some crazy-neurotic-OCD-phobia shit I've got going on here...

Sidebar: when I went to wash my hands, the aforementioned bathroom nemesis was washing hers too, and I couldn't help but notice the deodorant that was covering the entire righthand side of her shirt. Seriously woman, clean yourself up.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I'm dating my boss, my trainer, and my financial advisor...I just hope my husband doesn't find out!

love is in the air

love is in the air, kids. I'm not too sure I'm all that excited about spring springing that magical pixie dust all over the place (otherwise known as pollen) that makes everyone go fucking apeshit over being in a relationship. Me, I'm going to focus on the stuff with which I am in love. for example, burritos. It really doesn't get much better than that, y'all. black beans, onions, cheese, pico de gallo, lettuce, and cucumbers all wrapped in a tortilla envelope of love...yeah that's pretty much heaven right there, folks.

I also love my pyrex storage bowls. a couple months ago, my roommate and I got into an argument over the toxic wasteland that is our kitchen, and she basically said that she was sick of seeing said bowls all over the place and didn't want to have to deal with them anymore. well I bite my thumb at her, because pyrex is love and NOTHING will stop me from buying more storage bowls!!! *evil laugh*

This weekend was pretty random and fun, but the best part: after leaving the bar, roomie and I ended up at Harris Teeter at 3 in the morning with our 2 gay bffs. we bought about $40 worth of food, went home, and ate ALL OF IT. Yeah...4 boxes of hot wings, mozarella sticks, potato chips, 2 2-liters of coca-cola and bagel bites. GONE.

and I can't be too sure, but there might be a picture of me on the floor in the frozen food section giggling my ass off.

99 Red Balloons
"99 Red Balloons" cover by GoldFinger. get it.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

sidebar

one more thing. I'm incredibly stoked about the premier of Step Up 2: The Streets, and if anyone wants to go see it this weekend, I am soooo down.


Happy Valentine's Day, you lovebirds!

Photobucket

Friday, January 11, 2008

spinach dip, and why it's ruining my life

this week started off normally enough; monday and tuesday were fine (albeit very slow), and wednesday was as well. however a good friend of mine and more often than not partner in crime, decided to celebrate the day of his birth wednesday night with some true-blue, low brow debauchery. now those of you who know me know that by no means do I demand to frequent those upscale lounges which boast sinatra-esque background music and 9-dollar martinis. in fact, I prefer the hole in the wall, exploding bathroom, $1.75-for-a-coors-light establishment. the grosser the better, right? $1.75 for a coors light? sign me up! and keep 'em comin cause I'm gettin drunk, motherfuckers! wait, you guys are takin jager bombs? hey, bring me 2 of 'em! so, by a show of hands, how many of you go up to Sammy's on Western and say, "well I'm just gonna have a couple beers, maybe split a pitcher with someone, and head home"? Ummm I did. silly me. I got tanked. not just like, oooo I'm a little tipsy, maybe I should leave and call it a night. GOOD NIGHT ALL, AND BON ANNIVERSAIRE GOOD FRIEND! yeah right. I did the macarena. I actually did that stupid fucking dance. at the bar. in front of people. I wasn't the only one, although I seem to recall a friend of mine yelling, "spin me! spin me!" I wasn't aware the macarena was a 2-person thing, but whatever. I got smart with a frizzy haired, aeropostale sweatshirt wearin' (don't even get me started on that store. anyone over the age of 13 should not be allowed to go in there. I'm serious. I'll start checking IDs at the door if I have to.), queen of all that is hello kitty and high school musical. I hate to judge by appearances, cause lord knows what people say about me, but I met the girl once, and she copped attitude with me then, and I haven't liked her since. so when I asked her how old she was, she said she's going to be 22 in 10 days. yeah right. in my drunken stupor, I slurred a retort that was similar to "oh damn we thought you were like, 19!" and walked away. she acts like she's 17, so I payed her a compliment in my book. ANYWAY. I was so hungover, I had to actually eat a cheeseburger so my stomach wouldn't explode. sidebar: vegetarians get cravings like pregnant women. I haven't been able to eat red meat in over 2 months, and after lunch yesterday I felt like I could eat the rest of the cow... BRING ON THE PORTERHOUSE! so my friend came over, and we were lended to the rest of the day on the couch, watching episodes of the real world and dr. phil on dvr all day until the hunger pangs set in once again. now let me begin this tragedy by telling you just how fucking awesome the harris teeter spinach dip is. we're not talkin restaurant spinach dip good, we're talking those 9-11 terrorists hijacked a flavor plane of celebration and landed that shit right in my mouth. it's AMAZING. so, of course when said friend suggested picking up some of this divine dip from the teeter, I strapped myself to the hood of her car before she could even get her shoes on. of course, I looked like hell warmed over. no one showers hungover, house rule. sorry guys. we were hoping that this would be an in-and-out mission, but to no avail. where the fuck do they put that stuff? we searched high and low, over and under, but no dip was found. now, I generally make it a rule to never ask anyone grocery store employee where something is because they NEVER HAVE A CLUE! I'm serious. I've NEVER been directed to the correct location of what I want. and dammit if I can't find the cocktail onions myself, then it just wasn't meant to be (moment of silence for the gibson martini that never was). about after half an hour, we started to feel a little foolish, and decided to ask for help. per usual, no one could tell us anything. even the people who MAKE the shit didn't know where it was. is this rocket science? did I miss something? was there a class called "how to find shit in the grocery store and avoid losing your goddamn mind" that I forgot to take? we stood there, defeated. close to an hour of my life, wasted, and all I have to show for it is some hummus, triscuits, and a diet snapple. on top of that, I swear I saw the most beautiful man order a sammich in the deli section. he then proceeded to stand directly behind me in the check-yourself-out-and-fuck-it-up-and-make-everyone-wait-on-your-dumbass line. I almost died. literally. he made me nervous, and I was on the verge of a grade A anxiety attack. note to self: must learn how to talk to members of the opposite sex before becoming middle-age spinster with 27 cats and who scares away neighborhood children. so we left, shoulders slumped, dragging our feet, into the cold, cloudy night. but my hummus is pretty delicious. so I got that goin for me, which is nice.



oh, and greek god with your turkey and provolone on wheat, extra banana peppers...I love you.