happy happy friday y'all!

It's gonna take an act of God for me to get any work done before lunch on fridays, just an FYI.

below I've posted a 2-step instructional guide on how to efficiently go apeshit while at work. enjoy!

How did I get peanut butter IN MY EAR???

please answer that for me. because I just scratched my ear, and peanut butter from my bagel this morning was lodged right above my earlobe. also, yesterday I went to pull my hair back, and wiped oatmeal from breakfast off my NECK. what the crap is going on here?

I really don't like Third Eye Blind, except for this one song called "10 Days Late" I think the title is pretty self-explanatory, but it took me about 3 years to realize the song was about a guy who's girlfriend is 10 days late on her period and now they're havin a bebe.

question about facebook etiquette: when is ok to friend someone that you only SORTA know? like, you say hi and stuff at work, but that's about it. speaking of facebook, can anyone remember what the days before facebook were like? how did I spend (waste) all of my time???

I don't think I'm going to make it through the day, what with all the misplaced food and facebook quandries. someone please come rescue me...

since I am feeling so weird and foggy today, here is a picture of me and ashley cuttin a rug :)

"That looks like an autopsy"

My mother (as mentioned before, pinnacle of good parenting that she is) just sent me a text message, and all it said was: "I'm sure he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it"

now, this is probably the most awesome text I have ever gotten, and my reasons are three-fold.

1. it is a line from the most true to southern form movie ever created, and also a favorite of mine

2. my mother sent it to me.

3. I really am that white trash.

Thursday: day officially made.

Also, I just made the grave error in telling my boss that a friend of mine is introducing me to the colorful and whimsical world that is the Carolina Renaissance Festival. I have been instructed to rent a "bar wench" costume and assemble a scrapbook from said faire (yes I spelled that shit with an E, motherfuckers). I'm not allowed to come back to work until the scrapbook is finished.

crap.

this guy likes to party.

I need...

someone to paint pretty canvases for me to hang on the walls at my house. I want flowers and swirleys and stuff. but none of that cutesy pink and green bullshit. also, I think these (seen below) would look lovely lining the front walkway. do hydrangeas grow in the fall? hrmmm...

One of my coworkers brought in some banana nut bread this morning that his wife made. It was so yum. It went perfect with my hazelnut coffee :)




listening to: "life is wonderful" by jason mraz